So Long, Farewell

I’ve moved. Find me here, please.

http://herglamorouslife.blogspot.com/

Noggin. Seriously?

Yes, it’s a real show. Yes, my child begs to watch it. Yes, it was nominated for a Daytime Emmy.

I so miss Mr. Rogers right now.

While it’s on my mind…

During the course of my day, I have a million random thoughts that I want to share or write down and keep for posterity – mostly involving my monkey children. My OCD keeps me from doing this most of the time because I feel like if I can’t make an interesting, pulitzer prize winning essay out of it than it’s not worth it. I read this book once about bloggers and how we need to be aware of what we write. That we should try to have a point of view and be complete. Have direction and think like a writer. In fact, the name of the book is called “No One Cares What You Had For Lunch“. And while it’s a GREAT book for getting blog ideas and I actually recommend it, I just don’t have time right now to find a cohesive point of view. Few things in my life are truly cohesive and I feel like I’m missing some opportunities to share some cute things because I want my writing to be beautiful.

All that being said, I just wanted to write down a couple of really cute things my children say. Here are the examples:

Little monkey’s favorite restaurant? “Cracker Berry”

Big Brother’s favorite place to play video games? “Chucky Cheez-its”

If something happened in the past – a week ago, a year ago, two hours ago…Little monkey will say it happened “last night”. “When I was a baby last night, I slept in a baby crib.”

Both of their favorite places to grab Happy Meals? “Old McDonalds”

I know that information is not going to make or break your day, but it’s important to me. And it’s my blog.

Also, just in case you’re wondering….

I had a grilled chicken gyro with honey mustard and a Coke. Yum. 🙂

Dang, this blog is dusty!

It’s possible that I’ll soon be coming out of blog hibernation. With school starting and the baby coming in 10 weeks….wait. What? Yes, ten weeks. With the baby coming in 70ish days, I feel the need to blog. Because you know, that’s what moms do, right? We blog. We blog about our children, our hobbies, our frustrations, our victories, the latest and greatest cleaning product and our meal plans for the week.

Wow, I’m boring. Stay tuned.

An update for the masses (or all three of you)

It’s been two months since I’ve written, which isn’t a big surprise. I read a lot of blogs, but can’t seem to find time to actually sit down and concentrate on grown-up words for more than five minutes at a time. I am truly amazed at the mothers who blog regularly and successfully. AND home school. What’s that about? I love time management tips as much as the next mama, but that’s just plain talent.

Ahem.

So, what’s new with me? Well, let’s see. The boys are about to start summer vacation (pray for me), the big brother is about to start swim team (pray for me), and little brother is still 2 1/2 (pray for me…a lot). Oh, and this other little thing -of no great importance really, but probably worth mentioning. I’m kind of 13 weeks pregnant.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No, seriously.

Three exact days after my last entry was the day my REALLY adorable niece was baptized. We went down for the service and a little southern barbeque lunch afterward, where I proceeded to partake of every single item. I looked at my plate after I sat down and said to Sugar Daddy, “I hope you’ll eat what I don’t finish, because OBVIOUSLY I have taken more than I can actually eat. I think it was about five minutes later when, noticing that I had finished the ENTIRE plate of food, that I said, “What the hell? I’m actually still hungry! What is wrong with me? I haven’t eaten like this since I was”…yeah…pregnant.

I really didn’t think about it until later that afternoon. I was in a dressing room, trying on clothes when I looked at my face in the mirror. For there, in that unbelievably unflattering, greenish/yellowish tinted dressing room light, I noted the absence of a visitor that I had grown accustomed to seeing exactly once a month. The big Bertha-sized ZITOLA that is usually smack in the middle of my chin wasn’t there. Nor did it feel like it was about to appear. That was the red flag. Well that, and my behavior at the barbeque lunch that we can just compare to a good old fashioned pig slopping.

I tore into a Walgreens, bought the stick, and Jeff Gordoned my way home.

And there, in the downstairs bathroom, within milli-seconds of washing my hands, were the two lines.

Holy Mother of All Things Insane.

Upstairs, Brian had just come in from putting the boys down for the night. He looked like hell, I have to say. My little sweethearts had apparently been in a mood and been a little harder to handle than normal.

“Those are your children,” he said to me with his head on the back of the couch and his eyes closed.

“Well,” I said in the sugariest voice I could find, “they’re good kids, you know.”

“Not tonight, they’re not,” he groaned.

“Oh…try to find something positive about it all,” I said in my candy cane voice.

Quickly sitting up, Sugar Daddy looked at me intently with that crinkle between his nose and just held his stare for a few seconds

“Oh my God, you’re pregnant.”

The cheery sunshine tone in my voice just totally tipped him off that something was definitely up with me.

So, here I am – 13 weeks, 2 days. I really should have started blogging about it a long time ago. It’s fun to journal your pregnancy – plus nothing is funnier than a pregnant Margie. Just don’t expect the sunshine voice to come out anytime soon. 🙂

Pretty Woman

Old Lady at Opera: Did you like the opera, dear?
Vivian: It was so good, I almost peed my pants!
Edward Lewis: She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.

Okay, so it wasn’t technically the opera. And I’m technically not Julia Roberts. But, for me, last night came pretty close to being a movie moment.

There are a million and one ways to introduce Renee Fleming, but to put it succinctly, she is one of the most beloved and popular sopranos of modern day. Her accolades are too numerous to mention here and her biography too interesting for me to attempt to summarize, but of all the information one could glean, the most important is to know and be blessed to hear her beautiful voice.

Last night, she performed her only recital of the year at The Peace Center in Greenville – just Ms. Fleming accompanied by piano. Two friends and I were lucky enough to share a box (free upgrade for the asking, thank you very much) which added a little drama and special touch to an already outstanding billing.

Her first performances were selections from Handel – to include Dank sei, dir Herr (Thanks Be To Thee, Lord), during which I drew my first tears of the evening.

Her next piece was crazy avant garde (for lack of better description). Apparition, by American composer, George Crumb, was more intriguing and interesting (to me,) than beautiful. Mad props to the accompanist, Richard Bado, who spent the majority of his time elbow deep in the belly of the piano knocking on the sound board and strumming strings. From where I sat, I could see a little of the score, and thought it looked like one of my children had swiped it from backstage and had some fun with a black marker. She later remarked that George Crumb often used unusual layouts of musical notation – this piece was written in a circle. (??) Bizarre as it all sounds, Crumb should be admired for his exploration into the different and unknown and for looking at music from another perspective.

The first half of the program ended with popular folk songs, Shenendoah and The Water is Wide.

The second half was filled with beautiful and popular arias, such as Song to the Moon from Dvorak’s Rusalka – which her fans know as her signature piece. Possibly my favorite section was to follow with four selections from Richard Strauss, all written about different types of love.

Next up was my big rock star moment, as she sang O mio babbino caro from Puccini’s Gianni Schicci. I seriously felt like a little girl at a Hannah Montana show. It’s such a well known and popular aria, but to hear one of the greatest American sopranos of our time perform it – well – EEK!

She ended her regular program with the BEAUTIFUL and heartbreaking Vissi d’arte from Puccini’s Tosca.

After much applause, the audience making sure she felt our gratitude and admiration, Renee returned for two encores with three selections – Arlen’s Over the Rainbow (bringing more tears from yours truly), Gershwin’s Summertime from Porgy and Bess, and Lerner and Loewe’s I Could’ve Danced All Night from My Fair Lady – in which she invited the audience to sing along. My friend, Lyn leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “See, now you can always say that you’ve sung with Renee Fleming.” Indeed, I have. Ha.

The last thing I’d like to note is how taken I was with her sincerity and grace. She took time to introduce her pieces and tell small, personal stories. She made everyone feel comfortable with what can be a very intimidating form of music. I feel amazingly blessed to have been able to see and hear her perform in such a pure, intimate way. I, for one will forever be inspired.

Julia Roberts should only be so lucky.

An Open Letter to the Columbiana Mom Mall Walkers Association -or- The Stroller Derby

Dear Maternal Mall Walkers of Columbiana,

I am writing this letter in hopes that it will educate you and help you gain perspective. Please find below a small list of enjoyable mall activities.

*Shopping

*Eating

*Browsing

*Scarfing samples from Williams Sonoma

*Avoiding aggressive kiosk merchants

*People watching
 
Please note the following activities that might not be appropriate at a mall.

*Hurling your massive triple and quadruple SUV-sized strollers at me.

*Walking so intensely and at a pace so fast that you begin to sweat.

*Sweating.

*Pushing aside and putting the fear of God into small, elderly people in your path.
 
Please let me remind you that this is COLUMBIA and this morning it was a nice 50ish degrees outside. Take it to the streets with a jacket, ladies.

No one wants to see you take down Grandpa in front of Abercrombie.

Just a vignette of my life

{Mother in shower, happily singing some sort of jazzy Ella Fitzgerald number, Sugar Baby in adjacent room with cartoons and toast.}“Mommy!”

{Mother pretends not to hear.}

“MommEEEEEE!”

{Mother fears child has pulled some sort of heavy item onto self.}

“Yes, DARLING? Mommy’s in the shower, HONEY PIE!”

{Sugar Baby doesn’t answer. Mother turns around to see small child in her shower.}

“MOTHERFU – Hey lovie!”

“Get it, Mommy.”

“Get what?”

{Toddler holds out finger with long, stringy, red and green booger.”}

“Uh – just wipe it on the toilet paper.”

“No Mommy – yucky – you get it!”

“Honey, please -“

“You get it, Mommy, you get – you get it – you GET IT, MOMMY!”

{Meltdown ensues, water begins to turn cold.}

“Okay, here – just – ugh – here.”

{Sugar Baby smiles and laughs.}

“Bye-Bye Boogie. You yucky.”

GLAMOROUS!

What did you just call me?

WHAT did you just call me?

Yesterday afternoon, Big Brother and I were doing some cleaning playing in the playroom. He was in charge of puzzles, I was in charge of trash, board games, paper, crayons, train track, and Cheerios. Sugar Baby was in charge of eating Halloween candy found under the couch.

While six feet from each other, Big Brother and I have the following conversation.

“Uh, oh.”

“Uh, oh what?”

“There’s a piece missing from America.”

“Which piece?”

“I don’t know the name. It starts with an M.

“Montana?”

“No. MI.”

“Michigan?”

“Uh-uh. MIS.”

“Missouri?”

“OHHH! I know! I know! I sounded it out!”

“Wow, that’s great! Which one?”

“Mrs. Pissy.”

First Day of KINDERGARTEN!

We had to get up soooo early to get to school by 8:00. (If only he knew what time Mommy woke up.)

All dressed in our uniform, Mommy takes the obligatory photo in front of the statue that welcomes you to the Lower School. The plaque underneath says:

“There are no seven wonders in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. ” -Walt Streightiff

Mommy and her BIG boy on his first day of BIG school. Can you see the death grip I have on my child? We will take the exact same picture the day he goes to college.

My BIG boy and his teacher – we love her! It was Cowboy week!

We’re in our 5th week of school now and he’s doing so great. I just can’t believe he’s in BIG school. So proud, so happy, so bittersweet.