Just a vignette of my life

{Mother in shower, happily singing some sort of jazzy Ella Fitzgerald number, Sugar Baby in adjacent room with cartoons and toast.}“Mommy!”

{Mother pretends not to hear.}

“MommEEEEEE!”

{Mother fears child has pulled some sort of heavy item onto self.}

“Yes, DARLING? Mommy’s in the shower, HONEY PIE!”

{Sugar Baby doesn’t answer. Mother turns around to see small child in her shower.}

“MOTHERFU – Hey lovie!”

“Get it, Mommy.”

“Get what?”

{Toddler holds out finger with long, stringy, red and green booger.”}

“Uh – just wipe it on the toilet paper.”

“No Mommy – yucky – you get it!”

“Honey, please -”

“You get it, Mommy, you get – you get it – you GET IT, MOMMY!”

{Meltdown ensues, water begins to turn cold.}

“Okay, here – just – ugh – here.”

{Sugar Baby smiles and laughs.}

“Bye-Bye Boogie. You yucky.”

GLAMOROUS!